Soyjoy

Oh, Soyjoy, my feelings about you are so conflicted. You have just the right amount of calories mixed with a little protein making you the perfect afternoon snack. If only you didn't taste like cardboard. I try to love you, whispering positive sweet encouragement as I open your wrapper. But then you reveal your true, dry, tasteless self. The problem is... I just can't quit you Soyjoy. You go on sale at Target and tempt me with your claims of my insides smiling. Nowhere on your box or advertising do you claim to be delicious. You are not a poser, pretending to be a cookie. No, you are upfront with your no nonsense, wholesome goodness. The worst part is... I actually feel a lot better after eating you. I feel energetic and don't have the sugary crash that your sweet cousin the Fig Newton gives me. I don't want to admit it but, Soyjoy, you are worth the sacrifice. Yes, you are still too expensive at full price, but I promise to stock up on you when you go on sale.