I had to run 19 miles today, and the thought that kept popping into my mind the whole way was: Why does the marathon have to be so long? I don't mean the actual reason Why. I know about the history with Pheidippides and the Olympics in Britain and all that. What I mean is Why! Why! Why! It's just so bleeping long!
My quad muscle, which is the only muscle in my leg that has never hurt before, hurt from mile 8 on. My lower back was so tight the last 12 miles. Geez! It was so hard. I can't believe that I've actually run two marathons before and this is still so hard.
So I'm running and suffering and closing in on mile 17, and the song that comes up on my iPod is "Gonna Fly Now." Yes, I mean the Rocky theme song. My kids and I were dorking around and, long story short, I ended up with it on my playlist as kind of a joke. Since the iPod doesn't know it was a joke, the song comes on. I am embarrassed to say that I cranked it up. I need this song. It's making me feel better... I'm grooving and moving. Did you know there are lyrics in that song? Well, the words, "It's so hard,now... Trying hard, now..." play in my ears and... I almost started crying!! I mean actually crying! My throat seized up and I thought tears might start flowing. The words "Trying hard, now" just summed up everything that I've been feeling. I just can't try any harder. I'm slow, I stink at this, but I am trying as hard as I can and that is going to have to do.
Did you know that it's really hard to run and cry at the same time? I was able to take a couple deep breaths and keep it together. I don't think anyone saw me. Whew!
So that is my embarrassing story for today. I was terrible. I suffered. I almost cried. Don't tell anyone, okay?